Pat Robertson is an Asshole

Conservative Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson told citizens of a Pennsylvania town that they had rejected God by voting their school board out of office for supporting "intelligent design" and warned them Thursday not to be surprised if disaster struck.

Some of Pat Robertson's other greatest moments collected on the web:

"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians." -- Pat Robertson, fundraising letter, 1992

"There is no such thing as separation of church and state in the Constitution. It is a lie of the Left and we are not going to take it anymore." --Pat Robertson, November 1993 during an address to the American Center for Law and Justice

"I think we ought to close Halloween down. Do you want your children to dress up as witches? The Druids used to dress up like this when they were doing human sacrifice... [Your children] are acting out Satanic rituals and participating in it, and don't even realize it."--Pat Robertson, "The 700 Club," 10/29/82

This guy was almost the republican candidate for president... just think of the great things he could have done.

What's that in your eye?

If there's something that I don't like seeing it's something in an eye. Just the thought of it kind of makes my eyes water and red. Seriously.

Diane had something in her eye this morning and she was rubbing at it. WebMD says you shouldn't rub your eye if there is an object in it.... Especially if that object is a pencil... let's cover first aid for that:

OBJECT STUCK OR EMBEDDED IN EYE

• Leave the object in place. DO NOT try to remove the object. DO NOT touch it or apply any pressure to it. Do not grab the item and slowly rotate while kicking the person in the balls.
  
• Calm and reassure the person. Reassure them that you aren't going to kick them in the balls.
  
• Wash your hands.
  
• Bandage both eyes. If the object is large, place a paper cup or cone over the injured eye and tape it in place. Visualize this for a moment... let me paint you the picture from my mind: So you've got a pencil stuck into your eye... I'm not sure how it happened, but let's assume that you were doing something stupid that you wouldn't want someone else to find out about. Since I don't know what that is for you assume you're working in a cubicle with a foam tile ceiling and you're tossing up pencils to stick into the tiles through a picture of Karl Rove. There's a sonic boom and the pencils drop into your eye. Now you're supposed to not look around because your eye is like a pencil kebob. First aid involves supporting the skewer by skewering the cup and taping the paper cup to your face.
  
• Cover the uninjured eye with gauze or a clean cloth. Really you don't want to scare children with a pencil sticking out of your face.
  
• If the object is small, cover both eyes with a clean cloth or sterile dressing. Even if only one eye is affected, covering both eyes will help prevent eye movement.
  
• Get medical help immediately. Or wait till it's convenient.
  

As it turns out Diane didn't have a pencil in her eye, but it seemed wrong. Then there it was! blaDDDOUGH Like she had a mosquito bite on the whites of her eye...

The longer I looked at it, the bigger it got. By the time I finished looking through the options; eye puncture, cornea scratch or burn of the eye.... I could barley see. I'm rubbing my eyes in fact I'm pretty sure that it's me that had something in their eye, well both eyes really.

At this point we're both thinking about it and talking about it... I look over and I can see the yellow gelatinous area has gotten bigger. It now is beginning to look like her cornea is recessed and the sclera (whites) is bulging around it. I can't stand it anymore we're going to the hospital!

Sure it might be nothing, but my eyes itch like hell and that must mean hers really itch. So we get there and Diane goes in....

....she comes out and of course its conjunctivitis, contagious only if you've been opening the infected eye with your hand and rubbing your watery eye.

So I go back into the doctor's office and suggest that they go ahead and write me up a prescription because I already have it, can't they see it, its worst than the pencil. I looked down at my hands and it was like looking at them with a black light, I could see the seathing bacteria yelling about eating the eyes out of my sockets. I explained that I had literally been touching her cornea to mine while examining the oozing mess. They didn't see it my way, they thought that I should show some "symptoms" before they prescribe something. I expect I'll be blind tomorrow.